Master your dark sides

No matter how perfect you might think that you are we all have sides in our personality that could be described as less constructive, good or fruitful for our objectives. Some may even describe these sides as really bad. These characteristics would usually (hopefully!) not appear in the daily life where things are as they usually are, but they appear when pressure increases and you find yourself in a stressful situation. That could be a big pitch where you worked around the clock for three days, or when your boyfriend broke up out of nowhere and you cannot see where your life is heading. Professional or personal circumstances that rocks your boat. 

The term dark side is actually quite good, these sides of your personality are there, but hidden. For some, they are more on the surface and will easily pop up and for others, they lie deeply covered in layers of self-control. This is of course also linked to your ability to manage stress - the better you are at dealing with increased pressure the less probability of your dark sides appearing. 

So, how can these dark sides be defined?  Let´s divide them into two different categories: fight or flee. Typically your dark sides derives from one or the other - just ask yourself what you prefer when in danger (in stress) do you want to put your fists up or do you want to get the hell out of there? None of them is better or worse, they just impact your environment and the people around you in different ways. 

Fight. You have a tendency to go towards others in stressful situations showing personality characteristics like for example being arrogant, noisy, being dramatic, neglecting obvious risks, not staying truthful and causing trouble. 

Flee. The characteristics here are less extrovert as you would preferably want to lock your door and be left to yourself when in too much pressure. Your dark sides here could be being over controlling, setting too high standards for yourself (as well as others), being aloof and distant, showing no empathy for others, defensive, hesitant and suspicious. 

What is important to note is that all dark sides are related to positive qualities, it´s like two sides of the same coin. The boss who can be arrogant in some situations is in most cases acting bold and confident. The designer who does not let a project go and delays the timeline due to last-minute changes has an amazing sense for details and execution. 

HELP! I have plenty of dark sides what should I do?  

Don´t worry! As stated in the beginning, we all have them. What matters is you being aware of who you are and what your personality looks like. When you know this you can change your behaviour, not who you are. Understanding that certain situations/people/emotions trigger these dark sides can make you counteract and meet them in a constructive way.

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